Ufo Buff Pillows

Well, whaddaya know, your insurance DOES cover probes. Check-Out.

Anecdote Magazine

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'Now, who can tell me how to find the circumference of a crop circle?'

Alien spaceship gets tangled in a kite.

"What a ripoff."

Alien on Board

I can type 500 words per minute.

Abduction of Clockwork Toy

'We come in pieces.'

UFO - Alien surprised at distance to next services.

The Fundamentalist's Nightmare

Person welcomes alien to Earth, and is consequently zapped.

'The best place to land is Southern California -- they're used to it.'

Not a weather balloon!

How am I abducting?

"Earth, you'll need our standard Roswell cover"

Taken for a ride

'Now, then...when did you want to schedule your next abduction?'

Ok, stop beaming up the porcupine.

"Houston, we have a problem."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Alien Snowmen

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

"Not now, Oliver."

Alien Assumption

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

Elevator Music

Apocalypse Research Center

Early accounting scandals.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'