Typewriter Collector Gifts

'I wonder what kind of thriller I'll have written today...'

'Did you think that since so few people now use a manual typewriter, I wouldn't notice that you'd typed your penmanship homework?'

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'C'mon get it straight.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

The Pencil and Sharpener

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Sales Secretary

USING QUILLS

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

"Winter must be coming. The people in my novel are starting to wear mittens."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

'How old is this vase?'

A writer working on a typewriter is wearing a shirt with William Shakespeare's face on it.

People, we need to push the envelope, and the paper, pens and all the other stationery.