Typewriter Collector Pillows

'I wonder what kind of thriller I'll have written today...'

'Did you think that since so few people now use a manual typewriter, I wouldn't notice that you'd typed your penmanship homework?'

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'C'mon get it straight.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

The Pencil and Sharpener

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

Biro Diversity

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

USING QUILLS

Sales Secretary

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Winter must be coming. The people in my novel are starting to wear mittens."

"I wonder what this was for."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'