Typewriter Enthusiast Pillows

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

Writer Crumples Up Typewriters Instead Of Drafts

"…the slender fox padded on silent feet across the pine needles, his moonshadow flickering across the tree trunks, while …. cocka-doodle-doo???!!!"

e. e. cummings explained. 'It's all fixed, sir, all that is except the shift key.'

Lost Typewriter Key

COWS: Cow writers block

"I'm reverting to type."

Fortune Cookie Writers

"It was a dark and stormy night...."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"

A woman playing a keyboard

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Bill Bailey

'Nice graphics.'

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The Escape Key

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Sales Secretary

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'I told you. . . H not S!'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

"Winter must be coming. The people in my novel are starting to wear mittens."

Just don't mention his size. He's so case-sensitive. D D d

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."