Two-wheeled Romantic Gifts

'After Fred dreamed of Linda he felt as though he'd cheated on his motorcycle.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Drool Marks

The Fast Lane.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Biker chopper shopper

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Biker and Cyclist.

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

"USA map"

Double Bike

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

Man on bike

"It cuts air resistance."

"I now pronounce you bikers, man and wife."

Man falling off bike at finish line.

Surgeon requests patient's motorbike if operation is unsucessful.

Bicycle helmet for two.

Cycling Deaths

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

"Uh...shall I take...your bikes?"

'May I help you?'

The Tour de Pants.