Two-wheel Traveler Gifts

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

"USA map"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Monkey on a motorbike.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"Look, I gotta go...traffic's getting a little crazy."

Carpooling with a motorbike

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

The Fast Lane.

Touring Cyclist

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

A smiling cyclist

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Biker chopper shopper

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

Biker and Cyclist.

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

Boy on a bike

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

Off to work.

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

Motorcyclist.

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'