Two-wheel Wanderer Gifts

'Why don't you look at ME that way?'

Cycle to the dole scheme.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Drool Marks

The Fast Lane.

Touring Cyclist

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

A smiling cyclist

Food deliverer's baby.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Biker chopper shopper

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Boy on a bike

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

Biker and Cyclist.

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

"USA map"

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Motorcyclist.

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

Man on bike