Twitter User Pillows

tRUMp, Pirate President

The Proust of Twitter

Bird Tweet.

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Selfie

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

"It looked different on the internet."

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Underrated tweet

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

Elon Musk's Twitter Bid

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'Giles has got his first follower on Twitter so we thought we'd have a few people round for drinks, just a small celebration...'

Cold Turkey.

'And the public is protected from your tweets.'

"Something has happened to the canary."

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

Tweet

'Personally, class, I think we've overdone this relativity thing.'

'It appears your son has a tweeting disorder'

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic - can you find a way to make it all about you?"

Follow Me on Twitter

King Trump on his Twitter Throne