Twenty-year Reunion Gifts

What a twenty-year home school reunion is like. ('Ellie-May! Come an' get yir dinner 'fore it gits cold!')

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Dating is so expensive...

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Regular service or affected?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Things I love about Powell River...

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Christmas Hugs

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

'Where Are They Now?'

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Bro of Frankenstein

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Original punks go to reunion

Monkey Business College

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"I love college."

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'We have reason to believe you have been binge drinking and urinating in the area'

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

"Motion denied then"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me