Twenty-fifth Anniversary Gifts

'My husband says that for our twenty-fifth anniversary, he's going to spend 25 billable hours on me.'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

Sumo Love.

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

Authorization for the Use of Farce

A senior moment.

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'That's nothing I am one million years old and if I had their kind of money I would be a boulder in my own Canyon.'

Proxy War Redux

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

'Since when did they change 50 years from 'Golden Anniversary' to 'Remote Control Anniversary?''

60 years of the Treaty of Rome

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

'I'm used to having my decisions overturned since I've been married 20 years.'

'And here you can see one of the incredible boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"I'm just as ambivalent about her as the day we met, fifty years ago."

January and February 1998

'I started this vineyard 20 years ago, with absolutely nothing, and today I can proudly say I don't have less.'

Sixty

What a twenty-year home school reunion is like. ('Ellie-May! Come an' get yir dinner 'fore it gits cold!')

"You have a nice range of Golden Wedding Anniversary cards, but I'm looking for more Old 'un than Golden."

'Nope, a handmade coupon for 'one free backrub' ain't gonna cut it for our 25th Wedding Anniversary hon...'

Captain Tom Moore

'I'm on century duty.'

'Of course I remembered. What is the traditional gift for a 25th wedding anniversary - steak or lobster?'

'Dr. Jekyll's parties are great... But, don't drink the punch!'

'Next week will be our Silver Wedding Anniversary!'

Swans holding 50 balloons.

The End is Near. It's my 50th anniversary on this corner.

"Dear, after twenty years of marriage, I think it's time we talk about this possessiveness of yours."

'Yeah...I'm 100!'