Tweet Titan Gifts

"Sorry Mr Brooks, but this article is too long. Nobody wants to read more than 140 characters anymore."

It's Where Trump Gets His Strength

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

Bird Tweet.

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"And your Specialist Subject is 'Randomly Shouting Out Guesses to Questions You Know Nothing About'..."

'Welcome to the rat race.'

It's academic

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

Hazard of texting

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

"How about putting that in a tweet?"

I love my mobile phone.

Text in a bottle

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

'We know. He's just fixing the antenna.'

Follow Me on Twitter

"Help. I'm addicted to Twitter!"

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"