Tweet Hesitant Pillows

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

The Proust of Twitter

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Ornithologist

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"And me without a Twitter account."

Man and bird

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'And the public is protected from your tweets.'

The twittering president.