Tv Talk Show Fan Gifts

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

"Today on 'Oprah' those who are still employed, and the people who love them."

'Next on Moral Issues Talk TV: should Venus fly traps who are vegetarians be considered cannibals and be banned in Red states?'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

Graham Norton

"Have you actually tried all the receipes in your book?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

Night Life: L.A.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Jerry Springer

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'