Chat Show Fan Gifts

Today on Oprah: Couples who are Not Having Extra-Marital Affairs

"And after the break, I'd like to show everyone a clip from my latest film."

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

Applause

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Woman on the phone.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

Joe Hundredaire

Retired Talk Show Host.

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"I understand you've learned some new tricks since you were here last."

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows