Tv Quizzes Gifts

"Millard, this is a side of you I've never seen before. . . you actually LIKE game shows, don't you?"

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

'This has been a Chris Wallace special report -- we now switch you back to Mike Wallace....'

"Perhaps we'd be more likely to reach an agreement if the British delegate would stop shouting 'Deal or no deal' all the time."

Alternative Game Shows: Shooting Stars

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

It's academic

And that's why I'm still single!

Universe Challenge

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

"No conifering, please."

'How can I enjoy 'Jeopardy' when she keeps blurting out the answers?'

'On tonight's news: Katie Couric interviews Katie Couric.'

"I'm sorry, 'Because I said so' is not an acceptable answer."

"Angry or Hangry?

'And your specialist subject is the Invisible Man films?'

"Shouldn't have bought a touch-screen TV."

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

'Thank you for calling. We value your call...at 95 pence per mintute.'

'You won't go away empty-handed. We have some lovely parting gifts, including the fun, home version!'

"Damn it! Ask something on the Franco-Prussian War!"