
Stephen Fry
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Stephen Fry
"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"
'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'
'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'
"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"
'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'
Birds sitting on satellite dish.
'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'
Christmas TV...
'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'
Night Life: L.A.
"Wow, Grog, fire and drawings. This is quite an entertainment center you have here."
Portrait sweating above a fireplace
"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."
John Laurie
"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"
'Love your renovations.'
"Hi! Boris Johnson speaking."
Lorne Greene
'And stir to a smooth consistency.'
"Previously on..."
It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha
After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.
"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."
"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."
Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'
"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."
'I'd like to buy a towel.'
"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."
The 3 Stooges Diner. Free Pie. Hah! I know better than to fall for that!
"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."
I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.
'But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO.'
'Willlllbur...is that you?' After low ratings, Mr Ed's contract ran out and he was canned.
'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'
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