Tv Panel Show Fan Pillows

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

TV Situations vacant.

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Clive Anderson

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

Liz Hurley

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

Rob Brydon.

Police Box

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Alan Davies.

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Tommy Cooper

Ostrich TV.

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

Marvo the Bird Impersonator

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'