Tv Makeover Addict T-Shirts

'Know what this place needs? - a telly makeover!'

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

The cradle of mankind

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Is anything good on?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the 'everything's wonderful' cable news?'