Fame Makeover Junkie T-Shirts

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Exercise now!

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Alicia Vikander

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

Beauty Shop

"You might consider new socks as well."

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

Cosmetic surgery: We can make mountains out of mole-hills!!

Man climbing up a stiletto heel.

'My friend here would like to try the Brazilian.'

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

I have to build an ark -- He's doing a total makeover.

Feline Eye for the Canine Guy (dogs and cats)

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

"Notice anything different about me?"

'This is going to be a lot more difficult now you've had that makeover.'

"Fine, but that's the old you talking. The new you would never ask for a refund."

'I always wanted to sleep with the star of the game.'

'Know what this place needs? - a telly makeover!'

"You're different from last time."

"I'm thinking of having my tooth capped."

"Do you ever think you might be overdoing the whole moisturiser thing?"

Cosmetic dental surgery.

'Now watch me wash out all these nasty stripes!'

I've always been the good, law-abiding, non-threatening guy. And that's gotten old. Maybe it's time for me to be an outlaw. Maybe it's time to grow big mutton chops and long hair, let my skin get all grizzled and leathery, and ride a Harley into infamy. You can't just change your persona like you change your underwear. Say that to my mutton chops, you punkish ... punk.

"How much for a complete refurbishment?"

'I saw him on one of those home improvement shows. Doesn't he finish the room off nicely?'