Fame Makeover Junkie T-Shirts

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Exercise now!

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

"You might consider new socks as well."

Beauty Shop

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

Cosmetic surgery: We can make mountains out of mole-hills!!

Man climbing up a stiletto heel.

'My friend here would like to try the Brazilian.'

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

Feline Eye for the Canine Guy (dogs and cats)

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

"Notice anything different about me?"

"You're different from last time."

'This is going to be a lot more difficult now you've had that makeover.'

'Know what this place needs? - a telly makeover!'

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

'I always wanted to sleep with the star of the game.'

"Fine, but that's the old you talking. The new you would never ask for a refund."

Cosmetic dental surgery.

"Do you ever think you might be overdoing the whole moisturiser thing?"

'Do you suppose we'll ever qualify for 'Total Island Makeover'?'

'Now watch me wash out all these nasty stripes!'

"How much for a complete refurbishment?"

'I saw him on one of those home improvement shows. Doesn't he finish the room off nicely?'