Midnight Makeover Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Don't forget, on the stroke of midnight your clothes will lose their designer labels."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Congratulations on the new you!

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Being Pampered.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

Planner at work.

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'