Tv Makeover Addict Gifts

'Know what this place needs? - a telly makeover!'

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Stephen Fry

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Can't Touch This

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

The cradle of mankind

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Is anything good on?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the 'everything's wonderful' cable news?'