Makeover Aficionado Gifts

Feline Eye for the Canine Guy (dogs and cats)

'Do you suppose we'll ever qualify for 'Total Island Makeover'?'

'I saw him on one of those home improvement shows. Doesn't he finish the room off nicely?'

'Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a speaking gorilla. I won 'extreme body make-over' twice in a row.'

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: A Bob Named Sue