Tv Dinner Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Gone to mother. Your dinner's on television!"

"I suppose in your day, you would have called these, 'radio dinners'."

Benihana style of cooking.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Quick swig first?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

Looking tasty

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

WAITING ROOM

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

The Waiter

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Got anything not so close to the kitchen?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Ça suffit, good buddy!"

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."