Tv Buff On Ice Gifts

Winter olympics.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Tunnel of TV

Homo Zapiens

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

Woman and TV.

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'