Telly Buff Gifts

'I married him for his money and believe me I earned it.'

"C'mon, kids. You're blocking the T.V."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Television Readers.

'One eye of newt or two?'

Trump! The Musical

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

If nobody had invented graphics

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Mikado

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Deflator mouse

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

A little bird told me...

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Can't Touch This

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

This side is the gag reel.

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

Stephen Fry

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."