British Telly Buff Gifts

"I've been watching British shows on hulu. They're strange."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Homo Zapiens

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Tunnel of TV

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

Woman and TV.

Presenter Auditions.

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Couch Potatoes