Tv Buff In Scrubs Gifts

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Homo Zapiens

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

Woman and TV.

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Couch Potatoes

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'