Turtle Appreciation Society Gifts

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

'Grrrr....'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"We haven't danced in ages."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Ike and Tina Turtle.

The Stripper

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Tortoise polishing his shell

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

Tortoises breakdancing

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."