Turning 41 Gifts

A man holding balloons shaped like '41'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Your contents have shifted."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Gary turns 40.

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Ed's receding hairline!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

David Blaine, Age 60

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!