Turning 39 Gifts

"I'm looking forward to my 39th birthday...!"

"Oh boy... My 39th Birthday... Yippee."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"