Turning 30 Gifts

"Oh God, I'm almost 30..."

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

Happy Birthday!

Kevin's Eleven-Thousandth Day of Being Kevin

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

"You're 30? Me too!"

Polar Bear:'Oh,NOOO, my first BLACK hair!'

"And THAT is why you never ask a woman her age."

Turned 30

All the Corny Old Songs You've Shamefully Started Liking Now You're over 30

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

'Timmy, thirty is the new fifty.'

"I'm getting old. My friends are starting to have kids on purpose."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Gary turns 40.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Do you think I'm sixty?

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'