Turkey Wrangler Gifts

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

New Guy.

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

Deliboys

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Kid tries to lasso a cat

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

The difference between cats and dogs.

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

'Fresh eggs!'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Menage a Paws.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

Targeted opponent

'There goes 18 stone of muscle to fight a 2 lb trout to the death!'

"The company realizes how hard it is to get by on chicken feed so we're offering actual chickens as a bonus to all employees."

'We've found it to be the most effective way to let people know what food goes best with our wine.'