Turkey Wrangler Gifts

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

New Guy.

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

Deliboys

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Kid tries to lasso a cat

"I caught a snapping turtle. I hope you're not sitting on him."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

The difference between cats and dogs.

'Fresh eggs!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Menage a Paws.

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

'There goes 18 stone of muscle to fight a 2 lb trout to the death!'

"The company realizes how hard it is to get by on chicken feed so we're offering actual chickens as a bonus to all employees."

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

Targeted opponent