Chicken Wrangler Gifts

'Proud yes, but enough to try it again!'

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

"Of course, lack of discipline is a major problem in raising free-range chickens!"

'Fresh eggs!'

'We've found it to be the most effective way to let people know what food goes best with our wine.'

'It's so hot, I've been feeding the chickens ice cubes just to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs!'

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Brahma-Llama Diorama

"The company realizes how hard it is to get by on chicken feed so we're offering actual chickens as a bonus to all employees."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

New Guy.

So you're a mocking bird...

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Deliboys

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

Dissectum Paniculata

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Fish don't like worms.

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

The difference between cats and dogs.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."