Tune-loving Physician Gifts

Singing Doctor

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

The Cello Victims

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

Must be one of those underground bands.

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

Musical pill box

'Spin GP'

A breastfeeding child learns music

'It's a routine operation.'

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

'Whoever told you it was a travel-cello was lying.'

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

'Take that back! - Gynecologists aren't EITHER sissies!'