Tune-loving Physician Pillows

Singing Doctor

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

The Cello Victims

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

Must be one of those underground bands.

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

Musical pill box

'Spin GP'

'It's a routine operation.'

A breastfeeding child learns music

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

'Whoever told you it was a travel-cello was lying.'

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

"Open Wide and say, 'aaaaa-men'!"

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

'Take that back! - Gynecologists aren't EITHER sissies!'