Tuition Tactician Gifts

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Congratulation Graduates...student debt.

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

'I'm suing my way through law school.'

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

Kitchen Tetris

Good luck with all the revision...

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Examinations.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

Institutions Controlling Money

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"I try to get a head start on them."

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"He only made first four installments."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

Golf

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."