Tuition Tactician Gifts

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Congratulation Graduates...student debt.

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

'I'm suing my way through law school.'

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

Kitchen Tetris

Good luck with all the revision...

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Examinations.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

Institutions Controlling Money

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"He only made first four installments."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

Golf

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."