Tuition Fee Advisor Gifts

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

Ethics exam cheater.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Continuing education.

U of Debt

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

All Hail the Matriarchy

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Saving for College.

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"I love college."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"Summer's coming. How does pre-med camp sound."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

Uni. Snowflake Library