Truth Bending Buff Pillows

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Before the Internet

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Quiz Night...

Switch on brain

The Final Selfie

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

The Mom quiz show

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Funky Facts: Elephants.

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

"What's the first letter of the alphabet?"