Truth Bending Buff Pillows

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Before the Internet

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Quiz Night...

Switch on brain

The Final Selfie

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

The Mom quiz show

The Wiki Man.

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'