Belief Buff Pillows

"Of course I believe in god. . . I need all the help I can get!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Even More Disciples'

The Final Selfie

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?