Belief Buff Pillows

"Of course I believe in god. . . I need all the help I can get!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Even More Disciples'

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

The Final Selfie

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'