Trust Fund Philosopher Gifts

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Wall St. or True Love.

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Money is life's report card."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Money god

Economic Downturns

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

Accountant Manqué

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'