Trust Fund Manager Gifts

'My trust fund manager makes me wear it.'

The day the stock market went UP.

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

'Time to buy.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Forget what?'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Long and Short term investments.

The Invisible Hand of the Market

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

Standard And P****d.

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."