Troubleshooting Wizard Pillows

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

"Have you tried switching it off and on again?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"We only got six days of funding."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Where was I?

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Lovely dovetail."

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

'I'll take the one on the right.'

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

A souped up car...

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

"I think we could work very well together."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

math faculty

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

Illogic Tree

Handy-lion

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Body Building Mishap

"Turn down the bass."

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."