Repair Wizard Pillows

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Hansen's Glue-All Multi-Purpose Glue

A mess of mechanics

'I knew you had a bit of rough!'

Handy-lion

"It's going to cost more than it's worth to fix it. In fact, it's going to cost more than it's worth just to dispose of it."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"We only got six days of funding."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Lovely dovetail."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Gerald Ratner's return

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

A souped up car...

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

math faculty

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Illogic Tree

'I told you this game had realistic graphics.'

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

Websiteless -- please help.