Repair Wiz Pillows

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Have you tried switching it off and on again?"

Handy-lion

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"I asked for a Hexagon and you built me a pentagon - of course you cut corners!"

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

Bob's DIY Store

'To explain this extremely complex new imaging system, we've brought in Chuckles.'

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

A mess of mechanics

'Still duckin' an' divin'?'

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'Duct tape.'

'The spare's flat too, honey. Toss me that fruitcake.'

"Thanks for helping us put up the shelf, 'Utility Belt Man'."

Holes in pots, cigars and the road.

'Your fireplace needs a flue shot.'

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

The Office Dinosaur in: Mr. Fix-it

"It's going to cost more than it's worth to fix it. In fact, it's going to cost more than it's worth just to dispose of it."

'I knew you had a bit of rough!'