Cleaning Wiz Pillows

"I can't come out, I have to re-clean my room...who'd have thought she'd look under the bed?"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'Make it look like an accident.'

"I'll give you a moment."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

Cleaning service on skates.

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'Dude! Quick! Jump in! We've got to balance the load!'

"So. . . you're back!"

"No, you still look fat."

I give up. What is it?

Lifeguard - Please Take A Number.

'You've never heard of 'prop wash'?'

Duct Cleaning

'My gift from Wally sucks big time...'

He was a real fan of recycling

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

"That's okay, dear, I'll do the dishes."

"Since I know technology and not cars, I'll put it in terms that I know - my offline browser has been disabled."

'Fred,do you need any help putting the outboard motor on?'

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and so does waxy buildup.