Office Problem-solving Wizard Pillows

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Time Is Money

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Failure/Due Diligence

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

But under a different accounting convention ...

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Empty/Full

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

The Move.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'