Office Problem-solving Wizard Pillows

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Time Is Money

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Failure/Due Diligence

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

But under a different accounting convention ...

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

Empty/Full

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

The Move.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'