Toolbox Wizard Pillows

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"We only got six days of funding."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"Lovely dovetail."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

D.I.Y with dad.

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

The Move.

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

Start the session by doing something unusual.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

I got the raise

'McWit, did you forget to pay the gravity bill this month again?'

Handy-lion

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'