Workshop Wizard Pillows

'Will you stop placing these obstacles everywhere?...'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"We only got six days of funding."

Woodwork

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

"Lovely dovetail."

Robert Wilhelm Bunsen: "...and so at this Heidelberg conference...dedicating this eternal flame."

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Cat sharpening claws on grindstone

Blue-Collar Workers

Targets.

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

'I think the main reason you see the glass as half full and we see the glass as half empty is because you've been drinking.'

'No, Joan of Arc did not invent welding.'

Waiting for retirement.

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Claus 2.0

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."