Troll Tamer Pillows

"Anything you tweet may be used as evidence ..."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A midwife holding a baby

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Crying baby

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Parenting Business Deals

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"