Trojan Tamer T-Shirts

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Out of patience

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Education Guidance

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

The Terrible Forty-Twos

"She does this when she's tired."

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

How very Independent!

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"No screen time means more scream time."

"So...what are you in for?"

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'